Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
