i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am one with the molecules
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
