you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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