Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
