i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
