Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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