I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
