I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
