You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Duck Duck Cougar?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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