I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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