so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
