I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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