The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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