can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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