How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
too bad you live with your parents still
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sext me about skeletons
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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