I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
