bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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