Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
