My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
