its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
40s are totally the cure
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
