When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
