We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
