i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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