her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
