after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He passed out mid-signature
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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