Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
