if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
