so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
