His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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