Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
