I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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