I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
