Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
