If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
