Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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