His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just want nice things and good sex
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
