I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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