i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
