with your own penis?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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