how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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