I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
