The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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