is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
