dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't deserve a penis
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
