I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
