just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
