He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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