I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
