How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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