She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
