i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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